How Therapy Works

Therapy takes a long time because it took a long time to develop the patterns that you now are ready to have be different.

The relationship between you and me is the engine that drives the therapy. The closer we feel to each other, the more powerful the engine can become. As you feel our connection deepen, you will automatically be able to transfer onto me feelings and thoughts you have had in the past about other people who have affected you strongly, either positively or negatively or both. This transference is a very welcome development because it will show me how I can provide healing to your wounds by responding appropriately to all your feelings and ideas about me.

Your job is to share with me all the feelings and thoughts, and try not to censor yourself or only let me see the “nice” stuff. I am confident that your feelings and thoughts will not be able to hurt me, because I have done my own therapeutic work and can tell what is about you and what is about me. I know how to stay healthy psychologically, and I take good care of myself.

In therapy you will experience good outcomes in our talking together. Most of the time you will feel well understood and cared about, perhaps more fully than you have ever felt before. Even when I do something that inadvertently hurts your feelings, you will see that we have the capacity to talk about it and get back on an even keel with relative ease. These “bumps” in the road are just as important as all the good times, so make sure you always tell me when I have somehow let you down.

Over time you will begin to be able to do for yourself what you see and experience me doing for you. You will overcome any barriers that keep you from listening to yourself, loving yourself, wanting the best for yourself, giving to others, receiving love from others, etc. In other words, I will provide corrective experiences to compensate for childhood deficits of less than ideal parenting, trauma, etc. This allows you to develop new patterns of responding to the world in ways that are healthy and protective and gentle toward you.

I will be affected by my relationship with you as well. I am honored to be invited to share this sacred journey with you, and I thank you for what you will teach me about myself, the world and you.

Warmly, Tricia Peterson, MFT